Friday, May 20, 2005

Tequilla Bar Crawl Redux

A belated thank you to everyone who contributed to the innebriation of the RWS blogger at the tequilla bar crawl/race thingamajig a couple of weeks ago. I didn't buy a single drink all night long and was happily ensconsed in shots all night. Kisses to you all...

At Least We Can Count

Seriously behind on the recaps here. Apologies.

We played Team Swayze and lost. No big shock there. The most interesting part of the game though, was when Team Swayze decided to argue the score. They were already ahead by a few points but thought it appropriate to stop the game to haggle over 2 points. Everything stopped while their captain, who I'm sure is usually a lovely person, attempted to pursued the refs that they had 6 points (or 8, I can't remember) rather than 4. For the love of the flip cup gods, you guys were winning. Chill out. RWS (ie--Kate, ie--me) dug in her heels, the refs agreed (thank you to Boston Matt and Mike Vo and whoever else was reffing, I don't remember). Game continued. They won. The end.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The battle of the not so titans

A dust storm (or sandstorm in some contexts) is a meteorological phenomenon common on the Great Plains of North America, in Arabia, the Gobi Desert of Mongolia, the Taklamakan Desert of northwest China, the Sahara Desert of northern Africa, and other arid and semi-arid regions. Apparently, they also have them on Mars. Now, the Ellipse is not the Great Plains of North America or any of the aforementioned locations, including in fact, Mars, but nonetheless that did not prevent it from hosting some of the most unique playing environments ever witnessed by DC Stars. Locusts were not present on the fields last Sunday so it cannot be presumed that what was occurring was in anyway a sign of the apocalypse, but man was it dusty. Since this recapper can probably predict with some accuracy that our opponents have already submitted an account of the game boasting of their impressive 500 to nothing victory over DC Star’s perpetual lushes and underachievers, let us get to the point of this humble summary of last week’s annihilation. To be perfectly blunt: Runs with Scissors ate dust. And lots of it. Adam, Steve and Rich each made impressive contributions to the game, but even their awesome fielding could not revive it. Head Ref Mike finally had enough and suggested we end early to go to the bar. Later on, Tim and Kate saw a hooker on 13th street with really tight pink pants.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Drinking Marathon Friday

As we all know by now, there will be a post-Cinco De Mayo drinking race on Friday. Some of you dear readers may not be aware of this, but the RWS blogger in residence is a champion tequilla drinker. She can pound Cuervo like it's nobody's business, and without puking! So if you're looking to partner up, you know who to ask. The fun starts at 6:30 at Tortilla Coast, home of the best queso in town.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

No recap= fun with Canada

Stepping aside to let my team mates have a word:

Your characterization of Canadians as thumbsucking wimps without the moxie to fight for their own independence is viciously unfair and patently absurd. Canadians just don't get whiny about having their precious little sippy Earl Gray tea get taxed a little. Fueled by a mixture of poutine, beer, and a massive inferiority complex, Canada kicked our sorry butts in pitched battle not once but twice; in 1775 and in 1813. Getting beat back into the states by a bunch of fur trappers in silly red jackets and beige hats – how embarrassing! Not content to let their complete dominance over us rest with military victories, our friends to the North soon began assembling the finest strip bars on the planet, brewed beer that put ours to shame, and took up the sport of curling - a feat of athletic prowess they have mastered ever since. Put the three together and you get drunk strippers on ice. Not too shabby, eh?Being the fearsome warriors that they are, Canada declared war on the Nazis in 1939, when the US was still being a wussy little baby and declaring neutrality in World War II. And Canada suffered more casualties as a percentage of her population in World War II than did the US. In 1776, America declared its Independence from Britain. Due partly to a national consciousness that is loathe to rush into things, and partly to the strength of their beer, Canadians waited until 1982 to cast off their British shackles. Because Britian was locked in a grim death battle with the mighty Argentina, Canada cleverly earned her independence without firing a shot. Another major contributing factor for the 200 year delay was that it was simply too much trouble to switch all the photos on their money. Using the monarch's mug on their bills is a lot less work, since all they have to do is update her photo every quarter century or so. All that time saved allows for more time for curling practice. And so the cycle of total Canadian domination continues.
In 1995, the French Quebecois, feeling that they weren’t sufficiently annoying all in their presence by simply being French, launched the Referendum to secede from the remainder of the nation. Just as in the American Civil War, the secessionists were vanquished, and the losers were made to get back on the bus. Seeing as how nothing of any particular political interest ever happens up in the Great White North, the French are fond of trotting out the separation card whenever they get bored of drinking fine wine and eating goose livers, hence earning the name “The NeverEndum” for their little side-plot. Perhaps one day they will get their way – Quebec will join forces with New Brunswick and Vermont (which is really part of Canada anyway) and form their own nation. Between the Molson beer and the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, they can be the fattest nation on the planet. Rebels in woolen toques.
No, Kick This, the Canadians are a fearless lot. Forget Texas – Canada is truly the territory that one messes with at one’s own peril. Canada has never suffered a military defeat, save when we decide to blow them up every now and again over in the Middle East. The reason for their military dominance is obvious – no one knows quite how to fight a country armed with horses and long sticks, and horse poo doesn’t show up on radar.
Canada, where the weak are killed and eaten!

Self Aggrandizement Pending...

An upcoming art show has prevented the RWS blogger in residence from having the focus to write a recap. In light of our loss of "voice", stay tuned for a word regarding imperialist tendencies, partiarchy, and Canada (in no particular order). Until then, go look at some pretty pictures at Red Photography (and please excuse the shameless self promotion).

Monday, May 02, 2005

News from our friends in Potomac

Charity HH Featuring Dave Mallen
Wednesday May 4, 7-11pm
The Front Page (DC), 1333 New Hampshire Ave, NW Washington DC

Don't even THINK about missing the most fun you're going to have on a Wednesday night...ever... From 7-11pm on May 4th, the second installment of our "party and meet new people all while raising money for Project Northstar" series is coming to the Front Page (the one in D.C., not Ballston).The Bus's very own Dave Mallen (www.davemallen.com) will be wowing us with his musical stylings while we enjoy $2.75 Bud light bottles, rail drinks, house wines, and Front Page Ambers. Drink specials may only run from 7-11 but don't let that stop you from coming early and staying late!A $5 minimum donation per person will go towards Project Northstar, a non-profit organization whose fundamental mission is to help children who are homeless or disadvantaged overcome barriers to a quality education. Potomac Kickball plans to raise at LEAST $10,000 for Project Northstar this summer.So mark your calendars, and we will see you at the Front Page from 7-11pm on the 4th! Please tell any and all non-kickballers that you know.See you then!